Saturday 15 March 2014

Rohan and the Heaven Sentry

"So they diagnosed you with Obsessive Compulsive shopper syndrome,eh mortal??", the sentry at the gateway of heaven was cross checking his records!

"yeah....blah...", sarcasm was written in large alphabets across Rohan's face. He had just died from an exacerbation of his withdrawal symptoms after being put into rehab for internet de-addiction and was seeking an access to heaven's interiors.

The sentry looked around ,found that he had no more new entrants to attend to for the time being,and called him a little closer,"just between the two of us......heard you've a stock of hundreds of online deals & coupons with you?? "

Rohan remained impassive,but his eyes narrowed!

The sentry went on,"don't tell anyone,i've managed to hitch an internet access,here on heaven....the last net addict who arrived,struck a bargain with me, that i would allow him his laptop into heaven, but in exchange  , he'd share his wifi network with me!!"

Rohan was flabbergasted!! The sentry had turned out to be quite a techno freak!
"you guys in heaven are supposed to know everything that happens in the universe and get everything that you desire! Then,why are you so attracted to the internet??",he enquired.

"ah....but you dont have online stores here in heaven. Ever since that guy gave me the access to internet, I've surfed through the sites and I'm dying to buy some goodies from your online megastores! The same old shops here sell standard outdated stuff , which are laughable!! The Lord hasn't thought of upgrading from the old Heaven Cheap Store , that stocks ancient items, whereas you earthlings, His creations , have surged ahead in business!!"

" But how'd you expect them to be shipped to you?? The online stores don't have Heaven's pincodes, I'm afraid!! " , Rohan was apprehensive.

The sentry replied, " you don't worry 'bout that! I'll fix it so that one of the people due to arrive here, will bring them along ! You can ensure that the items are shipped to his place. I'll see the rest!"

Rohan was amused, he asked, " Cheeky,eh?? Smuggling things into Heaven right under God's nose! No doubt these people down on earth are so corrupt, when his own Sentry is duping him! The Lord is taking some time off from his duties these days, right??"

The sentry frowned, " Shut up, will you??"

"Ok,ok", Rohan said," So, what do you need from me ??!!"

"i need some info on the coupons and discount vouchers. I need some of yours....i'm struggling to understand the concept!! I might overlook some of your sins, for which you were to serve a few sessions at Hell...... I'd try to make sure that your sentences are reduced ! "

Rohan: "oh....let me see!! you are asking for bribes!!"

Sentry: "ok....go ahead, with your Hell time..."

Rohan: "wait , wait....i'll not grumble...."

The sentry looked satisfied, "Good, then start with this one .....i need to buy this special shoe i had seen at one of the sites, and this turban ...and also this Kurta ....but I'm confused how to order them together and get some discount . Here's my card,buy them for me!"

Rohan was waiting for this, the sentry was playing right into his hands.....
he logged into Gopaisa .

"what are you doing??", sentry asked.

Rohan:"buying your apparel, mister!! "

Sentry: " but this is not where I saw them!"

Rohan: " now , you keep quiet and let me do my job!"

He completed the procedures, ordered them to be shipped to the person's address the sentry had mentioned and stood there...satisfied. The order was to be delivered in 2-3 days!

"Ok, I'll fix his dying time accordingly" , the Sentry was happy. " you may go now. I've cancelled your time to be spent at Hell ! But I want to know,what exactly did you do there?? You had logged on into another website !"

Rohan smirked. " oh, i was just ensuring my service charges! I let you use my discount coupons , helped you buy the stuff .....couldn't just do it for free right??"

The sentry was taken aback!

"But you worry not", Rohan continued, " just creamed a little cashback off you!! GoPaisa was indeed giving mega cashback on your chosen sites!"

"the WHAAAT??", it was obvious the Sentry hadn't ever heard of it!

"Ah, cashback....you bought the stuff, i earned a few bucks !! But it's too difficult to explain all of it! You just understand this, that a fraction of your spending have been siphoned off , and ensured that I get the commission I deserved for myself! You see, God gave us monetary transactions, but we humans created the Cashback! Fair deal!"....Rohan signed off, and walked away laughing ,into the Garden of Heaven!

P.S: The sentry and Rohan regularly order stuff online, and get them delivered to them by their "new entrant piggyback venture" ! The sentry has an account in GoPaisa himself, but he doesn't irritate Rohan much, lest he missed out on any new systems that came in vogue on the internet, which Rohan is always up-to-date with!

This post is a part of the Shop, only to Save More Activity by GoPaisa in association with BlogAdda.

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